“Why did God make me this way?” I lamented, as I looked at the make-up-free, acne-spotted reflection staring back at me. “I am 34 years old! Why am I still breaking out?!”
My less than perfect skin was just the tip of the iceberg of unreasonable complaints I was about to spew forth. There was the stubborn 5 pounds that I could never seem to lose and those gray hairs that were starting to creep into my unruly red mane that is sometimes curly, and sometimes straight, but usually just frizzy, since with three little kids I often don’t have the time to style it.
I couldn’t forget to point out my teeth. My pearly whites had endured metal brackets and rubber-bands and three painfully slow years of shifting at the hands of an experienced Orthodontist. They were perfectly straight until I carelessly lost my retainer my freshman year of college. They have been realigning ever since, much to my dismay!
On a roll, I moved from picking myself apart physically to pointing out other personal flaws. I bemoaned my lack of organization that has resulted in a perpetually cluttered house. How about my inability to keep track of my keys, purse, cell-phone and sanity on any given day?
But the biggest self-criticism I had was my emotional disposition. My temperament that is up and down, sometimes sweet, definitely sassy, but ALWAYS passionate. I was currently on the low-end of my monthly hormone induced roller-coaster of feelings. I knew it was triggering my irrational rant, but I just couldn’t seem to stop myself.
“Why can’t I be more even keeled? Why do I have to FEEL so much? Why can’t I be more like so and so, who is always put-together and, I don’t know, stable?!”
My husband listened patiently as I finished my feisty tirade. We have been married for ten and-a-half years, so he’s witnessed an emotional outburst or two in our days together. Fairly stoic himself, he jokes about how when we started dating he decided that “he could use a little drama in his life.” Thankfully, he was up for the challenge, because he certainly got it!
“Honey,” he said, as he wrapped me up in his big strong arms, “I love you. Will you let me tell you what I see?”
“Let me be your mirror.”
He then proceeded to contradict the careless complaints that I had leveled against myself by telling me all the things that he loved and appreciated about me. He combatted the slanders I had spoken with words of admiration, encouragement, and respect.
In my moment of weakness, my husband chose to pick up the slack and be strong for me. He resisted the lies, that I had foolishly alleged, with the truth spoken in love.
He reminded me that I am a person of worth, not because of the way I look on the outside, or because my house is immaculate, or because of anything amazing I may have done or will ever accomplish.
I am a person of worth simply because God created me, loved me, chose me, and uses me. He uses me, JUST THE WAY I AM, to be a blessing to my husband, my children, my friends, extended family, and sometimes even to strangers.
God uses my words and my every day actions, my ups and downs (and thankfully there are far more UPS than downs) my sometimes sweet and usually sassy personality, and of course my PASSION, to accomplish the things that He has prepared in advance for me to do (Ephesians 2:10).
Why did God make me this way? Because He wanted me to be this way! I am the ideal person to be who He designed me to be. And I am uniquely gifted to do the things that He has called and created me to do.
Despite my silly opening question, most days I am very pleased to be ME!
I am also grateful that God has blessed me with a husband who loves me in the good and the bad times. He is a man, who willingly chooses to reflect God’s truth into my life on the days that I am too weak or too stubborn, to see it myself.
“Let me be your mirror.”
A new year is upon us and that means we have multiple opportunities before us to not only confidently BE the people who God has uniquely created us to be, but to also DO the things that He has exclusively designed and called us to do.
You know what else we can bring to the table in 2015? Like my husband was for me, we can choose to be people who speak life and reflect God’s love into the lost, lonely, hurt, broken, confused (and maybe even hormone-induced, irrational for the moment) lives around us.
As I consider the year ahead, my goal for this blog is to honestly reflect to my readers, the journey that I am currently on. I want to be real about who I am as a person, a wife, a mother, etc. and share the lessons that I’m learning along the way. Most importantly, I hope to reveal the transforming love and truth of Jesus Christ and what He means to me.
As you trek into the year ahead, what will you reflect to the people in your life?
What kind of mirror will you be?
photo credit: revandy.org