I have been traveling through life, navigating a winding road of what feels like never-ending transitions…
Graduating from College.
Starting Graduate studies and a ministry internship.
Marrying the man of my dreams. (Sigh)
Graduating from Seminary.
Starting my first professional ministry job. (YAY!)
Becoming a mom for the first time.
Being a working mom.
Becoming a mom again!
Choosing to stay home with my kiddos.
Becoming a mom AGAIN!!!
Sending the first kid to school (mom tears up a bit)
Sending the second kid to school (mom does the happy dance!)
Feeling pulled and called into something more… but what?!
And yet… maybe this restless angst is the beginning of something new.
I guess that’s what life is. It’s a series of new experiences. It’s learning how to live in and through these new experiences until they are no longer new. And then repeating the process over and over and over again.
Life IS transition. So why is it so hard?!
Today I had one of those conversations that made me doubt myself. It made me wonder, “what am I really doing with my life?!” Am I wasting the gifts and talents that God has given me?
The age old question. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 2 years? How about tomorrow?!
I DON’T KNOW!!!!
(Hence the frustration.)
At times it feels like so many little doors have closed. Is God trying to tell me something? Should I be doing something different? Moving in a new direction?
Questions! Questions! Questions! And maybe a few hot sloppy tears.
I still don’t have all the answers. (Let’s be honest… I never will!)
But I do know one thing.
In a world filled with continual changes and transitions and uncertainty there is something that IS constant. The Bible says that GOD is the Alpha and Omega. He is the beginning and the end. (Revelation 1:8) And His love and mercy and grace is … wait for it… UNCHANGING. (Hebrews 6:17)
Hebrews 13:8 declares that Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever more. When the ground under our feet seems shaky and unstable, there is a place that we can securely stand. HE is our ROCK. (2 Samuel 22:3)
On days like today, when I’m tempted to wallow and wander aimlessly in my angst, I have a choice. I can wallow… or I can pick myself up and start walking towards the TRUTH.
Maybe it’s time to stop wandering and start running…NO SPRINTING… pushing and straining forward into the open arms of my Savior. Somehow I always find clarity there.
Because He always has and HE WILL CONTINUE to be with me as I navigate life’s many transitions.
Today, that is enough.